i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
