You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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