I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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