paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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