Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
