He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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