now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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