I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
