but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
