Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
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Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
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Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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