New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
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