Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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