And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize