Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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