As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You're like the curious george of whores
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
