Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
