it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
