what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
