i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Randomize
