Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
