i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
