Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I can't turn off my feet"
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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