are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
