this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
