I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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