Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
