I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
That accounts for only three of the penises
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
