so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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