It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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