Kiss
Puke
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
