so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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