talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
