i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
