I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
splinters make it hard to masturbate
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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