When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
