She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Mom said you looked used
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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