1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
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I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
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I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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