I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I've blown a few things in my day
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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