my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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