Don't you send me to vm
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
