Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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