So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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