But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
