Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I understand Curling. That high.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I see more hoeing in ur future
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
