She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
