So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
