It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
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At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
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I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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