go do what you do best...puke behind churches
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
