I wish I could punch you in the face.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
