But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
