If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
