No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
