so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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