i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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