My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize