I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
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Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
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i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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