Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
