I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
