yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
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the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
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Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
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