I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize