i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
