woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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