im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
