Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
