Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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