I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
