Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
