The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
